i made a new tumblr http://boxofrain.tumblr.com/
i feel pathetic. think of every reason a person might feel pathetic. those are the reasons i feel pathetic. like all the time. but especially right now and especially since, like, september.
there’s chocolate melted on my hand and i have no idea why. what the hell.
i read a book today. well, not a whole book. i read “clumsy” by jeffrey brown which is more like a graphic novel but not even that. i guess they’re comics. whatever. i read it right through and it was decent. but kind of depressing i guess. next i’m going to read “the field guide to getting lost” by rebecca solnit. i guess i’ll try to start it tomorrow.
i think i’ve got all of my music back onto my ipod. all the tags are messed up though and a lot of the songs don’t have the artist or album labeled and i’m going to spend most of tomorrow trying to fix it i bet. how annoying.
you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
it seemed as if perhaps I’d gone insane
what is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
my ipod definitely just erased itself and i lost 180gb of music
im sick of rain
im sick of being bored all the time
im sick of feeling awkward
im sick of feeling like everything is my fault
i’m sick of being confused
im sick of braving the elements (i mean, i can do it, no problem but i’m sick of doing it alone)
im sick of all the junk i have in my room that’s keeping me weighted down
im sick and tired of being sick and tired
lol at the last 3 days. what the fuck but entertaining none the less
there’s this new guy at work. and he seems kind of a little weird but he’s totally cute. and just enough to keep me distracted until a. scott steps it up or b. i get over scott because he is never going to step it up.
A third had just been made and we were swimming in the
Didn’t know then, was it a son, was it a daughter?
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming
Around in the water in the oceans in our bodies
And another had been found, another ocean on the planet
Given that our blood is just like the Atlantic
i want this picture HUGE in my room
'Emptiness is the track on which the centered person moves,' said a Tibetan sage six hundred years ago, and the book where I found this edict followed it with an explanation of the work 'track' in Tibetan: shul, “a mark that remains after that which made it has passed by—- a footprint, for example. In other contexts, shul is used to describe the scarred hollow in the ground where a house once stood, the channel worn through rock where a river runs in flood, the indentation in the grass where an animal slept last night. All of these are shul: the impression of something that used to be there. A path is a shul because it is an impression in the ground left by the regular tread of feet, which has kept it clear of obstructions and maintained it for the use of others. As a shul, emptiness can be compared to the impression of something that used to be there. In this case, such an impression is formed by the indentations, hollows, marks, and scars left by the turbulence of selfish craving.' In Yiddish, shul means a synagogue, but I was trying to send this missing ancestor not to temple but to a path through an uninhabited expanse where heaven seems to come all the way down to your feet.”
-Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost
that hit me just right here. you know. exactly where that’s supposed to.